Canoeing, crashing and a really cool flip

Yesterday was our canoeing day. We are a big group, which is helpful when your canoe tips over. We are blessed with great friends and kids that provide hours of entertainment. 

If you've never canoed in a large group, there's an art to it. 9 canoes and one kayak make for many hands and lots of fun. 

The canoe with the teenagers tipped over at least 4 times and had one spectacular crash-directly into a tree. No one was damaged, as teenagers already are weird, anyway. 

I'd have pictures to share, but my phone and a river are NOT a good combo. Got a group snapshot, though! (This always involves yelling for everyone to lean in and cooperate.)

I also got a cool video of my oldest doing a flip off a cliff, but that's not supported here. Here's a few snaps of her acrobatic prowess. (A decade of gymnastics and a bunch of money, and my retired gymnast is quite skilled at these maneuvers. Here's my investment paying off!! )

She even got offered a free beer by some 20 somethings for her feats of derring do. sigh.  Keeping the guys of the world away from my teenage daughter seems to be my job for the next decade or so (3 girls equals lots of years on protection duty.) Another cute teenage girl in our group was handed a Jell-O shot, which earned her a lecture about taking drinks from strange guys..... She threw it in the trees (instead of giving it to me?!)

Our puppy loves our trips. Sleeping on the floor with kids and playing in the river is his idea of heaven. The kids keep him entertained and vice versa. It's really cute. 

We had a great trip-and can't wait to go again!!! Family time makes us crazy and wears us out, but I'll be sad when they grow up and do their own thing. Where will we get our entertainment then? 

The door broke. Kids ate minnows. And everyone NEEDS TO BE QUIET AND GO TO SLEEP.

First of all, I just want to share a photo of a complete stranger. Fashion has its own drumbeat here. 

Now for the recap of yesterday. The RV door has decided to get in on the action. It broke by shooting out a portion of its innards and locking kids inside. (Not wholly a terrible thing, because we were outside and so were the coolers of beer.)

The guys used duct tape, baling wire and super glue and now it won't lock us in but the door will probably need tied shut as we go down the road. Guess who will be stopping at the RV store on the way home?

We floated down the river yesterday for the 4th time or so. It involves an hour of preparation for a 45 minute float. Good times.  I can't take pictures with my phone while in the water or I'd share the visage of people in cowboy hats, little kids in life jackets and our group of 12 having fun. 

After we came back, the kids played with nets we had bought in the store. Best $10 I ever spent. Hours of entertainment! They caught minnows, crawdads and rocks. 2 of the kids made a bet and ate a minnow for $5. I swear it was their idea!!! Who needs Internet around here? We can watch our kids eat wildlife! Heck, we can even wear overalls if we want to. 

Our big development yesterday was the arrival of 12 more people. Our friends from the Kansas City Ski Club arrived. (Ski Club canoes, visits Europe and goes to wineries. We are a well rounded bunch; as long as there's drinks at some point, we will go.) Add 12 more people to our group, and now it's hectic--13 kids eat lots of s'mores! 

Our day ended with me yelling at all of our kids to GO TO SLEEP. STOP FIGHTING, yelling, crying, touching each other and generally being ornery. Apparently, we parents have a limit at which we may snap and I found mine. Everyone settled right down after that. Fear is a fabulous bedtime story. Night night kids!!

Weddings and Caves, catastrophes and eating with our hands

Our RV lost its marbles yesterday. We had planned a little outing, but our home/car wasn't having it. It wanted to stay put. The slide out wouldn't slide IN. It's a long story, but it involves a dead battery, an owners manual that's WRONG, & 2 stubborn and persistent guys with tools. We won the battle. It took 4 hours, dirty clothes and a trip to an auto parts store, but we got to go on our outing. YAY! 

We piled in the RV--12 of us. It was fun-the kids played cards and chatted and the guys took turns driving. I'm afraid to drive the RV, so it was a treat for my dh. Seriously, I trip walking in the door. I don't have any business driving a house, I think. 

We went to Meramac Cave and the Jesse James Museum. The cave was neat--very BIG. It's over 7 stories high or something. The tour guide showed us around for about an hour while our teenagers made weird sounds. We are so proud. My oldest made a disparaging Vine about the Missouri Waltz sequence. I cant blame her-not really a teenybopper's favorite entertainment. We will see if the link works:

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Then we went to the Jesse James wax museum, watched a really boring & confusing video (did he really live to be over 100?? Did he die in a shootout??)

And played with puzzle horseshoe things and tried on funny hats. The wax people were either atrocious or else these were terribly hideous people in real life. 

We came back to have dinner. VERY COOL. Our friends were inspired by their friends and hosted us a shrimp boil. Butcher paper on table, throw the food out and eat! We couldn't all fit around the table,or even plates wouldn't have been needed. Kids liked it and it was delicious! 

Our two youngest kids (their 1st grader and our 2nd grader) had a wedding yesterday. Older kids made invites, another did the service and the bride wore a blue cowgirl hat and a bikini. The whole thing gave the groom stomach distress. We agreed with him. Getting married is not a light matter-we know. We are all in our 2nd marriages and don't take getting married lightly. I even gave the kids an ignored lecture about brain development, your frontal lobe and waiting until you're at least 25 to get married. Didn't work. The kids just wanted their wedding rings--ring pops. 

Last but not least. My husband duct taped a tiki torch to a tree yesterday. Because we are classy like that. Luckily we are traveling with 2 paramedics,one of whom is a firefighter. 

Thoughts while traveling in Missouri

Yesterday was fun. Not the traveling part, because the roads were windy and breezy and Brandon had to drive while clenching the wagon wheel sized steering wheel so firmly that he had to take off his wedding ring. I ran interference and tried not to distract him too much.

He talked to me a little (mostly he white knuckled the wheel and kept us on the road and alive)--as he was offering me boots, tattoos and porn from the signs on the sides of the road, I wondered about Missourians. After growing up in Kansas, MO seems a scandalous place. There seems to be a "gentleman's club" on every exit. With porn and other "adult toys" to go with it. What's up with that? Did MO miss the memo that they're in the Bible Belt?? I'm just glad the littlest didn't ask what they were. Glad for distracting technology this time. 

Speaking of distracting technology. 

We are NOT in the adult stores here. We play Candy Crush, because it's addicting. And we have infected all the kids with it. Even the 7 year old plays now-because there's nothing like sharing the joy of finally passing level 29, and the drama of the impossibility of level 63. I even make crowd cheering noises and dance when someone overcomes the bombs and chocolate to pass a particularly rough level.  I'm a better mom that that kid's, because I play alongside mine, right? 

Speaking of my strengths as a mom, my little one sees this at the gas station and remarks, "Mommy, you like wine! You should buy the whole cooler!" I'm the best mom ever. I actually considered it. 

After we arrived, hooked up to utilities and transformed our RV into a home, then was the fun part.  Our friends are here too--a blended family with lots of kids & a dog. It's perfect! A playmate for everyone, even the dogs.

There isn't any cell service where we're at, so the teenagers hang out here. 

It's the one spot where you can swipe Internet from the store and have one bar of service when the wind, sun and moon are perfectly aligned. 

Another oddity:

I won't pay 50 cents for hot water at the shower house. That's dumb. Hot water is free, right??

Today's adventures hold tubing, sunbathing and sitting around. I love camping; the kind where you bring the kitchen sink, all your people, a comfy bed and tons of food and drinks. (:

Off we go!

We are headed out on our annual RV vacation. Required supplies: Febreeze, ketchup, enough food to feed an army and plenty of booze. 

As we packed up last night my dh remarked that I don't really do "minimalist." He said it in the nicest way (his default demeanor--one of the reasons I married the gem) and I got to thinking. People tell me regularly that I should blog. Why would you want to know my innermost thoughts? I won't really tell you those, but I'm going to journal the funny bits of our vaca. Because REAL LIFE IS FUNNY. Traveling in a 35 ft RV with 5 kids (3 of whom are teenagers), 2 dogs and all the accompanying supplies is fraught with hilarity. At least it is after the crises are managed. ENJOY!

Our captain. He drives this behemoth all over with us making racket in the back. My role: to run interference and keep the heathens and pets away from him, bring him pop and snacks and navigate. I still think I have the better deal. 

Typical. Napping, snacking, playing with electronics and lounging are their specialties. No wonder they look forward to our trips (for the most part. More on that later.)

The pets. Part footrest, part stink bomb all furry and excited to be with us in our rolling home!